Saturday, July 27, 2013

Tell Me of You


The sun outlines the harsh wrinkles that cut through his face. Like the carpenter creating knocked the chisel a bit too hard and sliced a bit too deep.
Read the wrinkles. Tell me his story. Peruse his face from left to right, each groove a syllable, each mole a punctuation.
His liver-spotted hands slowly pass me dollar bills, contemplating each as if they were of great value while he unwraps them carefully from the rubber band where they’re stored in his pocket. Hands are browned, weathered, strong. Like they’ve held a woman softly, brushed the tears from her cheek. Like they’ve toiled under the sun and wished for night to break. Like they’ve bathed a newborn baby, tender as a father’s love.  They practically beg me to imagine, to create his life in my head, to reinvent his memories and play them in my brain.
This is the second day he has come into the store, asked in a muffled, thick accent, “Chocolate?” and then shuffled to the ice cream dispenser. He always gets confused between Peanut butter and Chocolate. Muddled thoughts then he finds his way, dishes out his serving of sweetness. I think, What if that’s the only sweetness he has left in life?
I watch. His slow, thoughtful, methodical movements. Everything is contemplated, every move is necessary, nothing is wasted.
So different from those who rush, hurry, bustle through. Like whirlwinds that sweep in, riling emotions and sucking in stress. He is no whirlwind.
Shuffles. Slow. At the counter, I notice the leather on his belt is cracked. But his shoes are polished, his shirt tucked in. He takes pride in doing things right. No, he is no whirlwind.
And he speaks to me kindly, his thick accent working its way clunkily through his crooked old man teeth.  
Questions circling in my brain like curious vultures picking at my thoughts. I want to ask him. Where is he from? What did he do with his life? What has he seen, what has he experienced?
He awakens in me a strong curiosity, and I am overtaken with a spirit of inquiry that begs to be answered.
But I am too shy. I cannot face this man who is a mystery. And it is a mystery to me as to why of all my customers, he alone silences me. He pays, smiles, shuffles away. Sits alone in a corner, eyes turned towards the window, face lit by sun, lost in his own secret memories.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Hear Me


She’s got blueberry eyes
That look to the skies
And pray for the blessing of God

She’s got raspberry lips
Child on her hips
And she prays for the blessing of God

Her dress wraps around her
And angels surround her
As she stands in the field of sod

She opens her mouth
With a loud shout
She prays for the blessing of God

He hears her prayers
Her voice bold but scared
As she begs him to send down his grace

She’s not got the know how
But she knows that somehow
She’ll look up and see his face

Painted on the horizon
As the years slowly wizen
Her, she’ll feel His embrace

Oh God have mercy
We are but earthly
Creatures who seek your will

Spare us and love us
Bless us and hear us
Look, we bow to you still

And she prays for the blessing of God. 

Monday, July 1, 2013

Strawberry Souls



They gurgle a bit as they chunk their way down the disposal. Strawberry tops sliced deftly off their bodies, cast aside on the burial heap of waste. Mourned by no one. I am the lone funeral attender as I flick the switch by the sink and hear strawberry souls clunking together, pulverized into pieces, slid into sewage.
Is this how God feels? The thought slips into my brain, slides slowly around the gray mass and matter that makes me feel and think and hurt and breathe.
It’d be so easy to just not care. To flick the divine switch, watch us disappear into nothingness, become exhausted from seeing soul after soul simply slowly slippery, slide, slip! Then be no more.
It must hurt to be God. Or does he become tired of it all, exhausted by the daily grind. The prospect of more souls waiting for damnation, of more souls hungering for salvation, rising out of every nation He can’t deny his creation, yet sin poses a complication and the duration of time spent being God must get so long.
What is it like to flick the switch every day?
To bring a soul up, to send a soul down? To see the person you created dead in the ground, his soul swimming above him and you know you have to collect that unfortunate masterpiece that you worked so long and hard on and send him hurtling into earth’s depths until he’s eaten by
The garbage disposal. 
Hell.
Dante’s Inferno.
Flames.
Crunching up the leftovers that didn’t make it to the table. Eating up the discarded souls that didn’t cling to Christ.
I wonder if God cries. Or if He simply cuts strawberries everyday, a fact of life, must be done, faster the better, just flip the switch and WHIRRRR there it goes goes gone not to be bothered with until tomorrow the sordid tasks again begs completion.
Can He no longer feel the pain of soul separation and devastation? Strawberry souls and divine switches and garbage disposals that reek of death. I wouldn’t want to be Him.