Savannah, North Carolina

"Smile," he chimes as his finger hovers above the button, twitching ever so slightly, ready to release any second now.
I am an outsider looking in. A fly on the wall. A keen observer who has happened to be in the right place at the right time.
It's senior picture day and the bearded photographer has been charged with the grave task of capturing these students in the height of their mortal peak. They are ready to face the future, blinking blurry eyes into the bright light, lambs that scurry towards the door, not knowing if behind it lies salvation or the slaughterhouse.
"Got a girl?" He questions the spectacled senior, posing the graduation cap jauntily upon the student's orange head.
"Yeah," the kid grins, dipping his chin towards his shoulder bashfully. "Her name's Savannah."
"Like Savannah, Georgia?" He adjust his camera meticulously. I turn my head, paying them more attention than the book that lies idle in my hands.
"Yeah, but she lives in North Carolina. So Savannah in North Carolina." Snap. Snap. Two down, two seconds frozen, two pictures perfectly photographed.
"That's funny." Snap. Snap. "Engaged?"
"Yes sir. Wedding's gonna be July 18th."
"That so?" Snap. "Congratulations." Snap. "Say her name one more time? There's that smile!" Snap.
The senior laughs; practically glows from pride. Visions of Savannah, North Carolina dance behind his eyes.
"You're good to go," says the photographer. The senior hops off the bench, grabs his bags, makes his way into the world. Savannah means so much to him. He means the world to her. The photographer will forget them both by tomorrow, but they'll always be there, on his film. He, smiling at the camera, his grin big enough to split both cheeks. She, peeking out from his beaming eyes.
The stool the orange-haired kid perched upon just a few seconds ago lies empty, awaiting its next victim-- someone else that will tell it a story, snap snap, and then quietly move on.
The photographer adjusts his camera.
"Next!"

A Double Dose of Doubt

Doubting Thomas has nothing on me.

I hate myself for this quality

That begs to be heard,

Whispers one simple word—

“Sure?”

Sure about future, sure about friends

Sure about relationships that never end

Sure about family, sure about school

Sure that I’m not being played as a fool.

He wraps warm embraces around me,

Kills me softly with tender kisses,

But my sinful heart wonders only

What it misses.

Kill it quickly, kill it soft.

Rip out this internal fear,

Plunge hand, plunge arm, plunge

Into my gut.

My whole being laid out on a table

Sans eyes sans teeth sans heart

If I were able.

Take it all,

Cart it away.

Only – let any sure thing stay.

Cling to the cross, bloody fingers hang tight!

Cling to it now and with all your might.

I need you, Lord Jesus,

Can’t conquer alone.

Defeat this doubt,

This sin please dethrone.

You’re my surety in a chaotic swirl

Of life.

You stand firm. You stand true.

Devote this doubter to you. 

20

There’s crisp rebirth in the air.
You can smell it

Sharp as cinnamon

Tickles your senses

Chortles as it frolics away.

A fresh year, a novel newness

Ready for it? Not me!

Too scared, too timid

Yet already diving headfirst

Into the pile of leaves

That promises to usher in happy. 

Spark in my soul that pushes

Me forward, echoes my wishes

Drowns out my despairs.

Forget the failures of the year past

Suck out the marrow in your dreams

Forge a new, steady path

One that smells of adventure. 

Leave darkness behind

Close your eyelids

Paint them purple

See the moon ahead

Drift away on stardust

And never look back.