Doubting Thomas has nothing on me.
I hate myself for this quality
That begs to be heard,
Whispers one simple word—
“Sure?”
Sure about future, sure about friends
Sure about relationships that never end
Sure about family, sure about school
Sure that I’m not being played as a fool.
He wraps warm embraces around me,
Kills me softly with tender kisses,
But my sinful heart wonders only
What it misses.
Kill it quickly, kill it soft.
Rip out this internal fear,
Plunge hand, plunge arm, plunge
Into my gut.
My whole being laid out on a table
Sans eyes sans teeth sans heart
If I were able.
Take it all,
Cart it away.
Only – let any sure thing stay.
Cling to the cross, bloody fingers hang tight!
Cling to it now and with all your might.
I need you, Lord Jesus,
Can’t conquer alone.
Defeat this doubt,
This sin please dethrone.
You’re my surety in a chaotic swirl
Of life.
You stand firm. You stand true.
Devote this doubter to you.
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