hold me while i vomit it out

what ifs
are what
hurt most

like

what if
you hadn’t
felt so
inclined to

kiss me or

what if you
hadn’t rooted
your way in

to my head
with what ifs
last week

1 a.m.
sleepy lazy
eying me

what ifs
felt conquerable
with sheer beating
hearts then

my head pressed
against your chest
heard
thumping hesitancy
strong

tonight, what ifs
are the worst
in your head

for you, what ifs
paint moon
shadows, eclipsing swift

for me, i see
only the glimmering
stars

i want to ask:

what if you
didn’t focus
so much
on what ifs

so what
then

but the what ifs
for me
for you
always
eat first