in the end we were too much ourselves to be anything else

1.

last december
perched on a bar stool
my sweater slipped
over my shoulder, i
bared open to
your touch

your eyes
moved along my lips
tasting heavy words

thus

we crashed hard
into
everything we wanted
ourselves
to be

splayed open
we held fast to 
glimmery star promises
stuck to our teeth
caught in our mesmerized mouths

for a twinkling
there was healing

souls intertwining
cosmically rhythmic
we swayed into the night

2.

but we were only ever
ourselves

delusion
kissed our illusion
a sour goodbye

we overlapped
again, again, again

found we could not understand
ourself anymore

an exile in our native land
we wondered blind
until we fell into

distorted disarray

3.

this is where i tell you goodbye

it is not as hard
as i thought

to crash
into the future alone

4.

after the crash
i pick myself up

your roots
had dried inwards
my hands pull them
out swift

our overlap
not as
deep as previous
calculations
led me to believe

still

the gaping hole filled quick with
water and blood, i staunch
it with kisses thrown
gentle on my feet

5.

last night
at the coat check
i gave them your name

too heavy to carry with me
all night i said

they nodded
took it tagged it

when i left, i did not pick it up